Because no celebrity is complete without a fan site.
English name: Wendy Cheng Yan Yan
Mandarin name: Zheng Yan Yan
Stage name: Xiaxue
Hokkien name: Gan si lang chio
Birthday: 28th April 1984
Blood type: O+
Height: A mortal secret. Those who know, are mysteriously killed by freak accidents
Weight: 41 kg and going to be less!
Place Of Birth: Singapore - if you want to be more specific, Mount Alvernia Hospital
Chinese Zodiac: Rat
Family members: All those of her religion are family.
Religion: Wendism (She is God)
Education: Xingnan Primary School, River Valley High School, Singapore Polytechnic
Most confident: Of course blogging!
Spoken Languages: The sound of music, English, Mandarin, Malay (for only the MRT jingle), and Elfish, though no one to converse to. Thinks she can speak to ants sometimes.
Blogger: Herself (no one even comes close)
Author: Herself, followed by J.K Rowlings
Book: Confessions of a Heiress
Flower: Rose (pink and champagne), baby breath
Pet: A slow loris
Key in the keyboard: $, followed closely by F4
Minister: Used to be Vivian Balakrishnan, now Mah Bow Tan because he sings.
Colours: Pink, white, silver, gold, pale yellow
Fruit: Cherries and durians
Feature: Ass, eyes, hair
Movie: The Incredibles
People: All my lovely fans!
Food: Creamy mushroom pasta
Sleeping position: To the side
Weather: Typhoons and mighty hurricanes, though never seen before
Soft drink: Bubble tea
Everything in the favourites list. Not in order: Rainbows, money, sleeping late, muscles on men, honey, writing rubbish, hearing jokes, being with her favourite friends, getting free stuff, smacking mosquitoes to death, killing copulating cockroaches, smacking fat flies in Thailand, getting nice tans, having a seat on the MRT, convertibles, vertus, LV, unexpectedly see herself on newspapers, having nice photos taken, saving a bad photo with her expert photoshop skills, painting, hearing people praise her paintings, becoming thinner, managing to pluck out ingrown hair, hearing people say her hair is long, having long hair, hearing people laugh at her jokes, MSN-ing with friends, gossiping, travelling, when her mom sometimes cleans her room for her out of niceness, when her daddy laughs, seeing her grandparents happy, having her dog snuggle up to her, orgasms, multiple orgasms, haagan daz macadamia nut ice cream, all 7-eleven stores, manicures and pedicures, making fun of teachers, seeing enemies embarrass themselves, reading harry potter and books in general, getting new gadgets, having her friends defend her, defending her friends, buying cheap clothes from This Fashion, looking nice in those cheap clothes, putting biotherm after bathing, doing cartwheels in big spaces, the smell of rain, lying at the side of the pool to sun tan, watching great movies, getting a zouk card, the guy she likes looking at her, the good kind of sex, comfortable heels, cursing people, poking Cloudy, pinching people and shouting Bay yee si mi sek?, hugs, diamonds, car washes, men driving in a relaxed attitude and leaning back with only one hand steering, men who can parallel park, the day she got her double eyelids, bras that do not get looser with time, ash blonde hair, the sound of tinkling water, concerts, chinese songs which touch her, fat babies, the smell of babies, Blogger giving unlimited bandwidth and space for photos, insulting people, setting fire to things, seeing couples she doesnt like break up, her gold xiaxue necklace, yachting, unexpectedly finding money, friends buying gifts for her from overseas, greek gods, the smell of Famous Amos, white school socks, satin, cheap taxi fares, calling Shuyin Tuppy, friends coming over to stay at her place, whipped cream, brilliant stars in not-light-polluted places, Spongebob, doctors, lawyers, elves, glossy lipsticks, CNYs and angpows, bailey's, quaint little cottages, poisonous toadstools, fireplaces, pointy ears, red veins on cheeks, freckles, people sprouting French, people sprouting cheam Chinese su yus, vibrators pretending to be massagers, massagers and massages, accusing Shuyin of saying Momo is fat, singing KTV with Chung Cheng choir people and friends, pogo sticks, dates where I don't have to pay, depositing cheques, Tay Ping Hui, shaved ice on a hot day, state-of-the-art refrigerator with many compartments, cars with GPS, having the guts to scold people back when they bully her, campbell soup on a hungry night, the effect of water-colour paint on crayons, heated arguments with Kelvin, bullying meek friends, spectacular things like the Grand Canyon and waterfalls, campfires, free porn, imitating animals and Fiona Xie to irritate friends, smell of Davidoff on a man, doing advanced progressive matrics, luxurious hotels, strawberries with whipped cream, burning ants and making them go pop!, penis veins, ridiculously arrogant men, sitting down with legs in an M-shape, having a good hair day, strawberry Durex, the sound of the piano, the sight of men playing the piano, seeing tyrants like Saddam getting retribution, noses that look like they have been stuck on, people stroking her hair, men with soft lips, steaks, thick lushious hair, going into a high falsetto when singing, calling Turodrique and shouting loudly "Hello handsome!" and have him reply "Hello blogeous!", intelligent people, the kind of people who go like "You have become so skinny!" when they see you, night-cycling, thick comforters, bathtubs, curly hair at the back of men's necks, fireworks in gold glitter, Chinese proverbs with a story behind them, air-conditioned places, non-tiko strangers smiling at her, Huifen's continuous sneezing, raincoats and boots, clean toilet bowls, the taste of butter melting in her mouth, the taste of KFC chicken leaking juices, readers who say she inspires them, readers who say they hope their daughter can grow up to be as brave as her, nicely shaped eyebrows, sponsored trips, winning bets, Eekean patronising her whenever she needs her to, very long movies that are totally worth the money spent, SLKs, bentleys, rolls royces, french braids, British writers and British accents, people remembering the things she says, good earphones, gramaphones, free mp3s, photos with a field of depth, dimples, light pink nipples, being able to solve Mastermind ANYTIME, men who can cook good food, crossing the road recklessly and shouting "cars do not hit pretty girls!", having fabulous 21st birthday parties made special by everyone she loves - and apparently... liking to write long lists.
Being hacked, cramps, shu nus, shu nu lovers, taxi snatchers, mosquitoes, cleaning Cloudy's shit, computer spoiling, accidentally eating expired food, parsley, onions, grass in her food, third-world country cuisine like Vietnamese food, cockroaches, people taking photos slanted, carbs, fats, people anyhow editing her photos, people without a sense of humour, people accusing her, double chins, people asking her what her hobbies are, people not believing her, people who believe in aliens, people asking her height, stupid Wanbao, her boobs becoming smaller after having her period, periods, having to wash stains, bird shit, lousy detergents that cannot wash stains, men who kiss badly and suckle her whole upper lip, missing a period and worrying if pregnancy is looming, men requesting for sodomy, bangalas staring, stupid people who think they are smart, stupid people emailing her, elitist people who refuse to acknowledge she is smart, people comparing her to other bloggers and saying her English is bad (well at least she knows how to put a question mark after asking a question!), the guy she likes liking her best friend, her best friend liking the guy back, they being together, dandruff, bad tanlines, pimples, girls who pretend to like dolphins and babies and etc cute things, sand getting into bikini bottoms, men who refuse to ask for directions, people who set fire to forests, children who lie, smokers, having Eekean spit milo all over her just because she told Eekean a joke while she is drinking, Mrs Look and etc discipline people in RV, having short hair, having ingrown hair, tuberculosis, cancer, death, having to open BMW car doors twice, having her heel drop out, people pulling her hair straight, her bad habit of procrastination, people pinching her face, lousy British movies with no subtitles, DVDs that are blur, hard-core sellers, surveyors at Jurong East, having mobile phones and cameras run out of batteries, the taste of chlorine after swimming, people molesting her, Turodrique scolding her, the feeling of doom, ominous forebodings, people spelling Adrian as Adrain, talent scouts who scout June and totally ignore her presence, crows, crows squawking, people wearing that stupid yellow band on their wrist, people who put married on friendster but are actually just attached, gaps in front teeth, spelling things wrongly on her blog, losing long blog entries, ribbed condoms, rectorical questions, irrelevance, child rapists, Christian evangelists, Mac evangelists, people who say that she is fat, changing bedsheets and folding clothes, cheap businessmen who try to make her do free deals, people who think she is stupid, impossible to spell words like manoeurve, people who insist on not using predictive English text, people who write questions and end it with a full stop, people who do not say bye when hanging up, couples who answer for each other, Momo nagging her, bao to kias, people who say they will never do something and then do it and when you ask them why, they go like, "Hiyah..." and trail off, people dropping her camera, people who borrow her books and don't return, people who ask her what her blog is about when they can easily go and see it themselves, people who owe her money, wallets with no coin compartments, trains with no seats, baldness, dirty keyboards, viruses, people who keep complaining they are fat when they are obviously not, the sound of lizards, people with horrible handwriting, chao doctors that don't wanna give MC, guys who refuse to wake up, her rolex stopping by itself and making her late, people who lie about where they are in order to not sound so late, people who request to meet in mornings, drivers who do not send her home, the colour blue, paper cuts, the two strappy things used for hanging skirts and tubes up running out when you wear the apparel, sporty people expecting everyone else to like sports, people who tsk tsk when someone falls down, the sound of nails against chalkboards, paunches, poems and poets (all posers), moral vegetarians, people who disagree with pre-marital sex, people who keep winning in mahjong, people who stick to old society norms without thinking, men who pee on toilet seats, anyone with smegma, squating toilets, people who impose their music taste on you, blogs with music, blogs with passwords, being misquoted on newspapers, people saying she doesnt give up her seat to the needy when she does, pubic and armpit hair, children with black fingernails, pimples (on others) that really look ready to be squeezed, the smoke machine in clubs that makes hair clammy, shaking hands with people without a firm shake, people suggesting that she should eat offals, MLM salesmen, people who have longer hair than her, Ho Yeow Sun, unstoppably crying in public, people with disgustingly fake accents, jerks who break her heart, people with absurd privacy issues, people with a demented face like Lin Zhi Xuan's, men who keep saying mediocre girls are gorgeous, her friends fraternizing with people she doesn't like, paying expensive doctor fees for MCs, rude bus drivers, condescending adults, being drunk, girls who spoil the market by consenting to swallow/go dutch/peel prawns etc, people who say out the crux of the joke before telling the joke, people with nostril hair, Chinese newscasters that pronounce ji(2) yu(3) as gei(3) yu(3), the mole on her hand that grows a single thick black hair.
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